Let the thunder free

I quit my job. I really did, and I don’t regret it! 

It’s funny to realize when you are growing. When you more clearly analyze past decisions and current circumstances. Just as I feel about quitting my job, I don’t regret how I got there in the first place. I feel good knowing that it was the path I was meant to take, even if it was just for a brief view.

The past few years I’ve worked in an industry that I don’t love and can’t see myself in in the future. So why was I still in it? It’s painful to let go of something you’ve spent so much time on. The pressure and dread felt like a storm swirling, an ominous cloud threatening to drown me. 

I’ve always thought I was a work to live kind of person. You know, do what you have to do to be able to do what you want to do, kind of mindset. With time I’ve noticed that when I’m not happy with what I’m working on, I’m not fully happy when I’m not working either. That doesn’t make for the best version of myself.. And that’s not fair to the people closest to me. So then, was it okay to change my mind?

The more I thought about it, I realized that there are moments in our lives where we are nudged on a detour. Not because we missed a right turn, but because our journey wasn’t plotted to go that way. Really it wasn’t even a detour at all, it was the perfect learning curve. As Nick completed his law degree, we had a steady paycheck and a lovely place to call home. It was the home we lived in during our first year of marriage! As we traveled to find our next destination, my job provided flexibility to move freely and confidently. These are gifts I will forever carry with me. 

Past decisions can’t be changed, instead we can find the lessons learned and growth gained from them. Now I have an opportunity to shift gears, ready to hop back on the highway. Except I’m still unsure where it leads, and I’m terrified. It’s the best place to be for now. As it’s been said so many times, do what scares you the most. This scares me the most!

Close your eyes and breath,

Let the thunder free.

Now, who will you be?

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